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Shenanigans vs Phillies



5 : 4


Seoul Baseball League March 21, 2020 - 9:00 am
Gwacheon Government Complex


Nothing like the smell of rum and coke in the morning. As Team Phillies and Team Shenanigans gathered on a Gwacheon pitch that closely resembled a smooth fanny, the two squads were ready for a war. Philip DeLarge started on the mound vs his friend and dart expert, Beekay Baek. Both teams were confident and like a fart in the wind, Ryan Smith was nowhere to be found.

The game starts and Team Phillies quickly grabs a two run lead. Newcomer, but seasoned vet Adam Valeruz ropes a double that would have made TJ Fuller proud. Team Shenanigans knew that if they held out long enough, Philip DeLarge’s arm and would slowly wither under the stress of walking 10 batters and hang off the side of his shoulder like a flaccid penis. In what-the-fuck-ever inning, Michael Heilman stood at attention, fully tumescent, and with the strength of (ten men-Robin RH) roped a hit to center field which made Glen Pak wonder “what the fuck is wrong with my pitcher”. Soon after, Tony Tracy stepped up to a plate with the bat that’s still too long for him and showed his former teammate that catching on and off the field wasn’t his only skill. Team Phillies fought back valiantly due to a couple Luis Urbina hits, a Kyle Rogers stroke, and a keen eye at the plate from fellow teammates.

After Phillies came back to tie the game, only to have Ryan Smith “drop dick” on us by walking the bases loaded, only to assert his male dominance by striking out the side(possibly, I forgot). The top of the 7th presented a challenge for the Phillies pitcher that had just walked more people than the Houston 500(look it up you porn freaks). Soon after a Shenanigans player reached third, a fireball legend by the name of Youseok Hur stepped to the plate with balls bigger than your dad’s prostate(sorry if I offended anyone) and hit a walk-off hit to give Shenanigans the win.

(Sorry if I forgot anyone, I’m busy watching Tiger King and yeah)




Gwacheon Government Complex